Living in the 12th largest city in the world* is a job for large cars.

"My citroen won't start" (lucasboechat) 07/28/2015 at 19:57 • Filed to: Don't take it seriously

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That up there is where I live, a 11,244,369 people global city called São Paulo. My parents moved here from Switzerland when I was a kid and I like to think I probably wouldn’t be able to live anywhere else, the country-side is too boring and constantly smells of horse shit, the beach is full of people from the country-side that rent houses and talk too loud and the rest of the country is just too devoid of life.

Growing up here (and having a passion for cars) was quite an interesting experience as imports are expensive and the bulk of the population isn’t rich enough to afford cool cars. My parents always managed to maintain their love for French cars though, we owned a Turbo Evasion, Hydra Xantias, Xsaras and a Peugeot 607 but we were the exception. Most of the cars on our roads were (and still are) small flex-fuel econoboxes and or superminis, a type of car I only really got to know when my friends and I were old enough to drive.

(This was my first car, a 165HP Citroen ZX 2.0 16V)

But as much as I liked my almost 8 year old zippy Citroen, the Armored SRT8 GC I learned to drive in always proposed a better experience to the hours I spent (and still do) stuck in rush hour traffic, and every single other car I or my parents owned seemed to deal with driving at 8 mph at 7 PM better than the cars built for actual urban use. I could never understand why my friends who could afford something better still bought Clios and Peugeot 307s if all they were going to do was be stuck in traffic.

That brings me to what I think is the best example for one of the ideas I’m trying to convey. Imagine, if you will, that it’s a rainy Thursday and you are on your way to the DMV, upon getting there you are informed that the wait times are around 2-2,5 hours and you can pick one of two waiting rooms, waiting room A was built a couple years ago and waiting room B is in a brand new building wing:

Waiting Room A:

Waiting Room B:

The difference between these two rooms is the difference I see between the armored Range Rover I drive every day, and the Hyundai HB20 I could’ve gotten for almost the same money (The Hyundai is more expensive)

Traffic Waiting Room A:

Traffic Waiting Room B:

If you are going to spend 2-2,5 hours a day, to travel places you don’t really want to go to ( your office or whatever government building you go to when the post office decides you are dead) you might as well spend those annoying hours somewhere you feel nice, warm and comfortable. Furthermore, the driving experience here is stop and go traffic, so it makes no difference if the small cars have a better turning radius, or better handling or emissions whatever it is people complain about. And the most important thing, both my Rangie and the Smart car with Green Party stickers (my Rangie has one two to be honest) occupy the same amount of lane room seeing as roads are built to be driven side by side, not by length.

So there you go, I don’t care if urban cars are the current great thing, or that large cars are going extinct, I don’t care if you complain about the size of my Range Rover, or how much space my mother’s S5ooL is taking in front of you or how my father will never find a parking space for his E250. The thing is, we are enjoying the long wait to it’s fullest extent, you could have gotten a nice S80, or even a Lexus, maybe even an Omega but you didn’t, there are no winding roads here for you to enjoy the great handling of your VW UP! TSI, right now, you are in hell.

Counterpoints: This is Brazil not Switzerland, with few exceptions public transport is utter shit; running costs schmurming costs; I’m right and you are wrong.

MultiplaOrgasms > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:05

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Why would anyone want a fucking Vectra?

My citroen won't start > MultiplaOrgasms 07/28/2015 at 20:06

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Cheap and spacious, many are already armored, wood interior.

Conan > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:15

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I <3 some GC SRT8s.

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:19

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Armored? So people don’t kill you?

My citroen won't start > BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE 07/28/2015 at 20:24

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Yes, or rob me at stop lights/ heavy traffic.

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:26

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Huh. I have one more question: how is an armored RR less expensive than a Hyundai?

My citroen won't start > BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE 07/28/2015 at 20:26

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Because it is a 2005, the Hyundai is brand new.

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:29

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Gotcha. So the Hyundai is armored too?

My citroen won't start > BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE 07/28/2015 at 20:30

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Nope, normal hyundai

My citroen won't start > Conan 07/28/2015 at 20:31

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Me too, t’was a hoot to lean to drive on that car.

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:33

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Alright. One final question (I promise): why did your parents move from Europe to South America? Was it a job or did they just like the scenery better or something? Just curious is all

My citroen won't start > BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE 07/28/2015 at 20:34

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Job, they both were able to climb positions in their careers by coming here, this is something they regret to this day, especially now.

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:36

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Very interesting. Sorry for quizzing you!

edu-petrolhead > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:39

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Hey, since you’re in São Paulo, how’re the things with Haddad’s new speed limits on Marginal Pinheiros? According to Autoentusiastas and FlatOut things are pretty bad there, huh?

I live in Florianópolis, and every now and them some cyclofascists (cyclist + fascist) protest because they want to close many streets in the city to transform them into bike-only lanes. But Florianópolis is a very tiny island, with the old streets built by the azoreans, so it’s a chaos.

edu-petrolhead > MultiplaOrgasms 07/28/2015 at 20:40

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If you knew how incredibly bad are Brazilian cars...

The Vectra and the Jetta are two incredibly good cars, compared to the rest.

MultiplaOrgasms > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:42

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A few comments on that:

If you want something cheap and spacious, get a Van.

A (fake) wood interior doesn’t make a Vectra a nice place to be in. Trust me, I have been in numerous Opels of the 90s and 2000s. None of them were nice places to be in.

The way I see it is this: If you spend 2 hours a day stuck in stop and go traffic, you want comfort above space or how the interior looks, preferably heated massaging seats, a cooking place and maybe a toilet because there is no better feeling than having just dumped a perfect turd.

I don’t have anything to counter the armor. Armor always wins.

My citroen won't start > edu-petrolhead 07/28/2015 at 20:46

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Awful, I don’t use the Marginal anymore, its easier to speed through Itaim and dart around the tinier streets. 50 Kmph is barely moving, I’m sure the OAB will change that.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 20:55

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I’m all for using big vehicles for mundane tasks (I’m looking to buy an X5 for highway commuting for fucks sake) but I do understand why people buy new small econohatches over used big luxury things. Fuel economy mostly. New car warranty too.

Some people are weird about used cars too, like my parents who bought a Fusion over a used CTS because they have the idea that there’s less unknowns.

MultiplaOrgasms > edu-petrolhead 07/28/2015 at 20:56

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From what I’ve gathered most brazilian cars are essentially old european cars nobody over here is buying anymore. The thing is, someone of my financial status is stuck with those exact cars as well, only in 15 year old form with 200k, rust and previously owned by 4 idiots just like me. Compared to that Vectras are comparatively nice, too.

VonBelmont > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 21:02

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The Lincoln Town Car is fucking amazing in NYC. The suspension soaks up the shittiest of potholes, and you’re rarely taking turns at >15mph so fuck handling. Plus it has a comfy as helllll (if basic) backseat, so you can leave the driving part to the desig-uh, chauffeur.

My citroen won't start > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 07/28/2015 at 21:03

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I know, this isn’t 100% serious, fuel costs, parts, reliability and so many other things are factors in car buying, specially in a country where having a car, no matter what it is can be seen as privilege over so many other people in misery.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 21:06

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Aaaannnnddddd I just saw the tag. Derp.

My citroen won't start > MultiplaOrgasms 07/28/2015 at 21:08

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Ok, you were right about the Vectra, the Omega would be a vastly superior choice.

My citroen won't start > BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE 07/28/2015 at 21:11

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Nah, no need to be sorry.

desertdog5051 > My citroen won't start 07/28/2015 at 21:30

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I have a hell of a time wrapping my head around the fact that you need armored cars there. I saw your post the other day and you also mentioned it.

Do you run straight ethanol or is it a blend?

My citroen won't start > desertdog5051 07/28/2015 at 21:42

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We don’t get 100% gas since 1976, there is a government mandated E27 27%/73% blend and we also have E100 which is 100% ethanol.

pip bip - choose Corrour > MultiplaOrgasms 07/29/2015 at 04:16

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they’re not as bad as Clarkson made out.

i use to own one , had it for 6 and a half years , did 358,000km

best seats i’ve ever sat on!

handled really well.

MultiplaOrgasms > pip bip - choose Corrour 07/29/2015 at 05:45

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They’re not, but they are also hardly desirable.

Can confirm that the seats really are way better than one would assume on first glance, still no match for the seats in my grandfathers W169.

Don’t know how a Vectra handles in real world conditions, but at least it has some BTCC cred.